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Archive for January, 2007

No Safety in Numbers

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007

I am an existentialist God, you know. Well, a kind of existentialist, absurdist god, really.
I believe that everyone is responsible for his/her actions and the consequences thereof. Oh, don’t get Me wrong, there can always be mitigation but, at the end of the day, we are all responsible.
One of the things that makes Me angriest […]

I Said, Beware My Wrath. Are You Deaf?

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

It’s natural, I suppose, to feel a bit of an urge to test the authority of the new boss. Please take note: if that’s what’s been happening, then it’s gone too far. You will behave yourselves.
Look, I don’t want to get heavy handed and have to start dishing out warts and halitosis. I don’t want […]

*Yawn*… Ah, That’s Better

Wednesday, January 24th, 2007

It has been quiet around here, hasn’t it?
I’ve been having a bit of a rest. Just as My non-existent predecessor allegedly took a bit of a breather after creating the world, I decided it would be appropriate for Me to do the same. No, you fool, to have a rest, not to create a world. […]

Beware My Wrath

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

*Sigh*…
It’s going to be quite a job you know. My non-existent predecessor left things in a terrible mess.
I do fully intend to be a God of love, but you ordinary mortals really do need to get your arses in gear. No way do I plan to repeat that Biblical nonsense of mass murder by flood, […]

Entirely Natural, But Still Miraculous!

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007

The thinkers among you will have rejected pretty much all things supernatural when you rejected God as per Professor Dawkins’ suggestion. It is, therefore, not surprising that I have heard embarrassed mumblings of concern at My announcement that I intend to begin performing miracles. This concern is, of course, understandable. What’s the point of dismissing […]

Miraculous!

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

I realise that any deity worth its salt must perform miracles. While I am free, in My limitless power, to overturn that tradition if I wish, I rather think I’ll keep it on. After all, miracles make fine material for movie epics, don’t you think?
Anyway, My first miracle will be to grow a long white […]

REVELATION!

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

Oh, My multitude of adoring acolytes, things have changed over the festive season.
My position has been elevated beyond the imaginings of even My most loyal and fervid followers. In short, I have identified a lack in your lives and, not being One to shirk responsibility, I have stepped into the breach to fill that void.
Now, […]