About
What follows is retained for historical purposes only. Since writing the text below, I have had to abandon the position of aspiring world leader. Instead, I am now God. Being God is a far more important job and, to be frank, there just aren’t enough hours in a day to be both God and secular world ruler.
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It is nearly time for me to assume the mantle of absolute global monarch. Even as you read this I am putting the final touches to my schedule for taking power (I still have to find a way to free-up Wednesdays).
Try to subdue your (understandable) impatience. It will not be long before the frustrating world of conflicting ideologies and incompetent democracy is swept away before my unstoppable advance.
“How can we help?” people often ask. Well, I am moved by your concern, loyalty, and you can indeed help bring about the new world order. For the moment, if you could just move off to the side a bit when prostrating yourselves before me, just so I can still get past… well, that’d be great, thanks. And if you could try to avoid bringing issues to my attention on Wednesdays… well, that will also help immensely. To be frank, Wednesdays are currently the main cause of delay: thus I’m considering abolishing Wednesdays when I take over. I’ll let you know.
For those of you who ask about a working manifesto, please bear with me while I finish formulating one. I have to be mindful of how much information your fragile intellects can grasp. As always, I have your wellbeing at heart.